Big Butter Jesus

During a recent trip near Dayton, Ohio, I took the advice of some strange friends and went to go visit the "Big Butter Jesus" - which is what some heathens call this huge statue of the big J. It's sort of yellowish-gray, and looks as if it might have been carved out of butter. Like for a state fair.

Some motorists get out of their cars and take a picture with three people to the right of the BBJ, making letters with their arms: "Y" (Jesus' letter), "M", "C", and "A". Yup - YMCA!

I just took a stereo photo of the big guy. First, click on the image to make it big, then cross your eyes until you get a third Jesus in the middle...focus, and there he is, in all of his three-dimensional glory!

Oh, and a STRANGE thing: my car's "Check Engine" light had been lit for about ten months - but just as I left the BBJ, the light turned off, and has remained off for several weeks now! NO JOKE. Hmmmm...

OMG

Why do I picture a nun at the bottom, just out of the frame? Never mind...

Hey - FUNNY IS WHERE YOU FIND IT. I couldn't make stuff up nearly as scary lame as this:

Zounds! Youth Rock Ministry

(click the title to go to the site...IF YOU DARE!)

By all means, if you are a troubled teen looking to stay sober and straight and virginal and religious and acceptable to God, go to this site and enjoy yourself. If you are anyone else, go to this site and enjoy yourself with a bunch of hearty, nervous guffaws.

Where to start?!? The fact that they consider homosexuality something wrong that can be fixed - they call it SSAD "Same Sex Attraction Disorder", and they hope that Adam (American Idol) Lambert can get some help with it. I don't actually remember him making out with any men on American Idol, but I didn't see all of the shows...maybe I missed it. Anyway, the Zounds people sound like they are the experts on the sexual preferences of strangers, and how to correct said DISORDERS.

I guess Pastor Skeet must approve. Yes, you read that right...PASTOR (and lead singer) SKEET.

Howbout the list of approved bands on the left? We even get to see the excommunicated bands (their names are still there, but crossed out!). Evanessence is no longer allowed (in fact, under the Zounds FAQ, they mention their "safe" Evanessence cd bonfires!), but Stryper is still okay. No AC/DC at all, tho...

Watch the videos: the "powerful mime performance", the ultra-white raps of Smitty ("Do the burning bush, do the burning bush!"), also "Norwegian Satanists have tried to assassinate Antestor, but the power of the Lord kept them rockin'!", and tips on throwing a JESUS RAVE PARTY!

Be sure not to miss the Zounds Abstinence Boxer Shorts. These are "sexy" cotton boxers imprinted with the imprint "Radically Abstinent, Saved & Saving it!"...this strikes me as the same type of good idea as the logo'd high school shot glasses that so many proms offer. Why not some Abstinence Comdoms? They could be rubber discs that don't unroll at all, with a rad picture of a winking Jesus waving his finger: "No, No, Know!"

All a bunch of harmless idiotic fun, except for the "Legalize it! School Prayer Rocks" bit. "Don't be a praya hata - legalize school prayer"...hey - let's spend more of my tax dollars on learning how to spell correctly, instead of praying that it turns out close enough for people to understand.

Oh well, at least those teens who follow the stuff on this site should have no problem at all with the abstinence thing...