Thursday, October 15, 2009

Finally - A Use For Those Damned ATHEISTS

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

Well, gee whiz, when the Rapture comes, and Jesus takes all of you Good Christians up to Heaven, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR PETS BEHIND because doggies and kitties are just dumb animules that don't belong in the Kingdom of Heaven...why not have one of those poor slob left-behind atheists take care of your beloved recently-orphaned pets?

Every one of their pet caretakers has signed a contract stating that they are true atheists (thereby ensuring that they will be left on the earth after the Rapture), and that they are real pet lovers, who will continue to take care of your pets as one of their own.

What a great idea - and everybody wins (except for the atheists, who will burn in Hell even though they took care of the sweet animals...oh, well, THEIR CHOICE!).


  1. I believe there will be animals in heaven. Jesus comes back to earth with 10,000's of His saints who had gone up in the rapture and they are all coming back on horses. I do not know if animals will go up in the rapture but there will be animals during the 1,000 year millenium reign of Jesus Christ on earth....yeaaaah!

  2. ps...I don't trust any athiest with my I am praying for them real hard.

  3. 2 Peter 2:12

    "...They are like unreasoning animals, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like animals they too will perish." tho that's about false prophets, so not quite fitting.

    From somewhere online: "Adam was given dominion over animals and told to kill and eat.
    If animals had souls, there would be a plan of salvation for their souls, just as there is for ours."...which makes sense (sort of).

    But, of course, this petcare service is only for those who interpret the bible in such a way and believe that their pets will not be going with them on The Big Day - no real need to debate it.

    It must be tough finding somewhere to board your Yorkies, having to investigate the religious beliefs of the owners and employees...maybe your pastor will be able watch them when you're on vacation.

    Best of luck - be well.