The Key To Reserva

A phenomenal advertisement by Freixenet: Martin Scorsese directs this "restoration" of a Hitchcock film that was never made (all that remains are the opening act and closing scene in script form).

Click HERE to see the film.

The great charm of this pastiche is due in no small part to the inclusion of actual "Hitchcock" music: pieces by the composer Bernard Herrmann (and I believe that these versions were also conducted by old "fire-and-brimstone" Herrmann). Be sure to watch for all of the tiny little nods to Hitch along the way...I especially liked the Richard Thorndike monogram.

It stars Simon Baker (Patrick Jane on tv's "The Mentalist"). I prefer him in this role, as he does not speak. Perfect.

One might consider this very high-brow Spinal Tap.

And these pre- and post-production shots are just great! Surprising how much we saw in the flick wasn't actually there! I wonder how Brian DePalma would have done on a project like this...

Finally - A Use For Those Damned ATHEISTS

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

Well, gee whiz, when the Rapture comes, and Jesus takes all of you Good Christians up to Heaven, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR PETS BEHIND because doggies and kitties are just dumb animules that don't belong in the Kingdom of Heaven...why not have one of those poor slob left-behind atheists take care of your beloved recently-orphaned pets?

Every one of their pet caretakers has signed a contract stating that they are true atheists (thereby ensuring that they will be left on the earth after the Rapture), and that they are real pet lovers, who will continue to take care of your pets as one of their own.

What a great idea - and everybody wins (except for the atheists, who will burn in Hell even though they took care of the sweet animals...oh, well, THEIR CHOICE!).

The Mercury Men

Coming "soon"...an internet serial sci-fi adventure! Looks pretty impressive!

Louis CK - Hits The Nail On The Head

First, watch this very insightful and funny man.

THEN - sit back, and bask in the wonder of what just happened. If, for some reason, you just can't feel the warm gloriousness, then you are horribly spoiled, and you suck.

Either way, have a nice day.

Lookit Me, I'm Sandra Lee, Short On Vocabulary

Don't worry about being extremely well-spoken - if you're PRETTY enough, people generally won't notice how few words you know. They probably only listen to a select few, anyway.

Long. Thick. Nine-inch. (Not sure of THAT word) Take it. Take it. Take it.

Ohhhhh, yes...

KISSSPUDS

Soon to be available at a store near you, sometime in August: the Mister Potato-Head KISS set! Nope. NOT A JOKE. Not a mock-up. This is the REAL WORLD, here, folks. "This Is Spinal Tap" seems less ridiculous to me every day...

Maybe the Demon/Gene Simmons model spits ketchup, hm?

If you must, go check out the announcement at the KISS website:

http://www.kissonline.com/

Trippy Kermie

Those of us who grew up with Jim Henson's delightful creations on Sesame Street and The Muppet Show may be surprised with his earlier work...a bit "OUT THERE". Worked with the composer Raymond (Bugs Bunny influencer) Scott on several avant-garde audio bits...and those wonderfully violent Wilkins Coffee commercials (I'll have to show some of those , soon!)...great stuff.

This clip is from "Sam And Friends", which taped and aired in Washington DC between 1955 and 1961. The dude in the shades is Harry the Hipster, and the square fellow is Kermit (not yet "The Frog" - still missing his collar!). This bit was redone several times: on Ed Sullivan in 1966, and on Sesame Street in 1971.

Blows My Mind

Here is a too-quick, 2-part documentary on Harry Partch and several of his original instruments:






Utter genius - an American original! For some DIY xenochrony, play both at once.

They Just Don't Make'em Like They Used To!

How I'd LOVE to see some wacky, inventive, fun ads like THIS gem on television today - does that grocer say "Holy Christ!" 30 seconds in? I think he does!




Forgot that Jim Henson and crew did a whole bunch of work before Sesame Street and the Muppet Show...

CRACK THE SKY

Another "Band-So-Good-Everyone-Should-Know-Them-But-No-One-Does" - Crack The Sky! Here's a few tracks from their eponymous 1975 debut album. In that same year, Rolling Stone Magazine declared it the "debut album of the year"...but evidently only Baltimore read that issue of RS. Crack The Sky albums were hard to find due to poor distribution, and for some reason, Baltimore got the lion's share (and sold through the roof, there!). A great mix of tight rock, funk, glam, and prog made for a thrilling listen. Check it out!

Jonny Quest In 3-D!

Click image for a bigger version, cross your eyes until you get a middle view, focus on it and ENJOY the GROOVY 3-D...

I can't hardly get enough of Jonny Quest, one of the best cartoons that ever was. Did you know that it was originally broadcast in the evenings, not Saturday mornings? Did you know that it was originally supposed to be an animated version of the long-running children's adventure radio show "Jack Armstrong"? Did you know that Warner Brothers is working on ruining the great reputation of Jonny Quest by not only filming a live-action version, but also by using Zac Effron to play JQ and "The Rock" to play Race Bannon? TELL ME IT AIN'T SO! Urgh. I hope that Doctor Quest can whip up some sort of antiSUCK ray to fight this monstrously bad idea.

Protection From Evil

In Zion, Illinois, there is a NICE theater that shows movies. It's been there a long time, so they must know what they're doing. Even when they change the name of a movie to keep from offending the public...

No joke. No Photoshop. Just the strange "real" world in Zion.

Made Me Laugh

OMG

Why do I picture a nun at the bottom, just out of the frame? Never mind...

Hey - FUNNY IS WHERE YOU FIND IT. I couldn't make stuff up nearly as scary lame as this:

Zounds! Youth Rock Ministry

(click the title to go to the site...IF YOU DARE!)

By all means, if you are a troubled teen looking to stay sober and straight and virginal and religious and acceptable to God, go to this site and enjoy yourself. If you are anyone else, go to this site and enjoy yourself with a bunch of hearty, nervous guffaws.

Where to start?!? The fact that they consider homosexuality something wrong that can be fixed - they call it SSAD "Same Sex Attraction Disorder", and they hope that Adam (American Idol) Lambert can get some help with it. I don't actually remember him making out with any men on American Idol, but I didn't see all of the shows...maybe I missed it. Anyway, the Zounds people sound like they are the experts on the sexual preferences of strangers, and how to correct said DISORDERS.

I guess Pastor Skeet must approve. Yes, you read that right...PASTOR (and lead singer) SKEET.

Howbout the list of approved bands on the left? We even get to see the excommunicated bands (their names are still there, but crossed out!). Evanessence is no longer allowed (in fact, under the Zounds FAQ, they mention their "safe" Evanessence cd bonfires!), but Stryper is still okay. No AC/DC at all, tho...

Watch the videos: the "powerful mime performance", the ultra-white raps of Smitty ("Do the burning bush, do the burning bush!"), also "Norwegian Satanists have tried to assassinate Antestor, but the power of the Lord kept them rockin'!", and tips on throwing a JESUS RAVE PARTY!

Be sure not to miss the Zounds Abstinence Boxer Shorts. These are "sexy" cotton boxers imprinted with the imprint "Radically Abstinent, Saved & Saving it!"...this strikes me as the same type of good idea as the logo'd high school shot glasses that so many proms offer. Why not some Abstinence Comdoms? They could be rubber discs that don't unroll at all, with a rad picture of a winking Jesus waving his finger: "No, No, Know!"

All a bunch of harmless idiotic fun, except for the "Legalize it! School Prayer Rocks" bit. "Don't be a praya hata - legalize school prayer"...hey - let's spend more of my tax dollars on learning how to spell correctly, instead of praying that it turns out close enough for people to understand.

Oh well, at least those teens who follow the stuff on this site should have no problem at all with the abstinence thing...

Shiina Freakin' Ringo

The Japanese avant-garde pop/rock artist Shiina Ringo is one of my absolute favorites. She melts disparate genres together into something synergistic...





Her "style" is that of having no particular style: a sort of postmodern pop/jazz/classic/punk sung in Japanese/English/French. There's no real way to explain it, other than if you like it, you probably REALLY like it.





Super-mega-ultra-popular in Japan, but nearly unknown here in the States. Not even available on Western iTunes (not that I groove to iTunes at all, I don't!), only in the Eastern version. What's that? You say you didn't know that there was more than one iTunes? Yup, there is.





Granted, it usually costs more than THIRTY dollars to buy one of her cd's (only available in the East!), but this stuff is well worth every penny. if you were some sort of pirating scumbag you could troll the internet for places to download her music, and who would blame you, if it just wasn't available for legal purchase?





She's supposed to have a new album out in June of 2009. COOL. I know that I'm buying it as soon as it comes out. These videos certainly show a world of beautiful nightmares, don't you think?

Some Small (Sub-Atomic) Tests

A new blog to host the interesting, the stupid, the sublime...whatever strikes my fancy. If you like COOL STUFF, then you may enjoy it. After a bit of a "Hmm...THAT was SOMETHING!" moment, you should return to "normal", which should give you PLEASURE (See opening comment at top of this page).

It's all about PLEASURE.

And COMMENTS.

Now "move you head" and enjoy the optical illusion above.